Meh....
Logical fallacy is scattered throughout. Doesn't maintain the dark tone originally set. It kinda switches to the onset of action and adventure. *You can do this, but this feels comical, but it is too early to be comical relief. It is...okay.

Author's Response: Again, the first chapter wasn't meant to be dark. If you're refering to the dark tone set by the prison cell scene being offset by the Sonic/Serena scene, I disagree. Superficially it could be read as comical, but underlying the light tone is something far more serious. That's my literary justification. My practical justification is that I was freakin impatient after waiting for a weeks worth of votes and desperately want to move things along to the actual trial, where the real story starts to unravel...

Author's Response: Oh and some really dark shit happens as well ^^

Well for what I see, just a few ajustments you could chage the whole story, anyway forget that

The story is great, a moody Shadow and a pissed Sonic what is better for a story.

Author's Response: I'm curious about your first statement...what adjustments? Tell me, for I'm genuinely interested. As for what is better for a story, for me it's as many shady characters as can be crammed in, one truly evil and twisted character, one totally naive and innocent character, and plot twists in as many directions possible. Not to say that's what's happening here...that's just what I love in stories. ^^

I can't wait for the trial, then. *grins* I like gore. Any who, I notice a large amount of ellipses. This entire chapter was filled with 'em. You could replace some with dashes, and some parts I don't really think you need them. Your lines were great though. Maybe I'm just crazy or something but the line “You know how it is these days. Freedom of speech, democracy and all that righteous bullshit." sounds a whole lot like the American government at times. XD Any who, this is a nice chapter, story-telling was great. There is no doubt you can write. Keep it up. ^^

Author's Response: Yeah...about ellipses...*smirk* I like the look of them better than dashes... You're right though, I do tend to get carried away with them. My other group of critics say I shouldn't use ?! all the time as well. Actually it should be never. Apparently a question mark/exclamation mark is the sign of a cheap fanfic as opposed to something well written. What was it they said...oh yes. "The power of your words should eliminate the need for them." Anyway, thanks for your detailed review and criticism as ever, Takashi. You keep up your work as well *wink*