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um ok the sex took me by surprise

You've improved drastically. But, you can still get better. For one, separating paragraphs with each new speaker would be appreciated. Don't get me wrong, your paragraphing has started to mature into something readable (thank God....), but you need to change paragraphs when a new speaker is introduced.

Other thing you could improve on is keeping characters in character. Most of the sonadow writers I've seen know how to mystically make Sonic and Shadow horny by just the suggestion of sex. ...And then make Sonic start swearing like bloody murder. Maybe you other authors can teach me your amazing author powers. O_o Okay, sarcasm and curiosity aside; you need to remind yourself: Am I keeping them in character to the best of my ability? Okay, so generally Sonic and Shadow fucking is out of character anyways, but we can keep this under control (sort of...) by making sure they don't fuck like rabbits. Last chapter, they had sex. Next chapter, they'll have sex. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against lemons (being a sonadow junkie and all), but just remember to keep those two hedgehogs in check. To me, making two anthropomorphic hedgehogs from a game series have sex almost every chapter is a little out of character. I mean, having sex next chapter is something I won't complain against, but try not to have lemons in almost all the chapters. Higher plots are needed sometimes. (I'm a hypocrite, though. Don't listen to me. >_>)

Anyways, you've improved a lot. Maybe I should take a long leap of absence. Then I can get better too. ...Naw. :P Good job, but keep in mind my suggestions. Story's a whole lot better and I find myself exited for the next chapter. (Lemons. What sonadow fan doesn't read lemons?) Keep up the good work, ShadowFan6. ^^

o.o lol nice.