I just have some stupidity left over from this total awesomeness knocking me stupid...

ZOMG THIS IS FUXING AWESOMERS!!!!!!!!1111

There...I needed to do that. One thing is pissing me off, however. You need to work on your other two stories, especially TRB

Very nice, very nice indeed, I have to say, this is your best work yet, by far.
It was wonderfuly writen, very detailed, and quite long.
But, I feel you focused to much on the sex, and not so much on the relationship.
You also didn't give alot of detail as to their relationship's background, but since this is a chapter story, that can be exsplained later on.
I belive you have got yourself one hell of a story here, just tone down on the sex, and focus a little more on the emotion.
Great work, and keep it up.

Author's Response: I would agree, but I did in fact write this for only one person's enjoyment. It wasnt even really supposed to be out on the net, but of course, I did because I felt guilty. I'll keep it in mind though. I wish you could see the next part (which you cant until I am done) because THAT'S when Sally goes nuts and decides to find out whats going on. >3 Muahahaha! Anyway, thanks for the insight, I appreciate when peeps find the time to point out my mistakes.