Love this fic i read it a second time lol
Ooooo very hot and very sexy! I loved it.
lol. cool.
GAAAAAA. :| im out of words. you're amazing. you made their personalities PERFECT and how you write, you're going to my favs!
so hot, i read it 4 times xD
=D I really loved this! You're definitely a great writer, and I have added this to my favorites!
I did notice this sentence that makes me wonder if you had a comma splice going on: "He, after scanning the room for seating comfortable enough to sit and read in apart from the couch, and finding none, took a seat next to Sonic and began reading." I don't think the comma before 'and finding none' needs to be there. =D But it probably doesn't even really matter! It was just bothering me while I read the line, I was like... 'ARGH, I always make this mistake, is it right or wrong?!'
Anyway, enough of my useless prattling. I
Author's Response: Well, with or without the comma, that sentence bothered me. But I couldn't be arsed to change it. But thank you for pointing it out. Part of me wants to say it's right, but it won't surprise me if it's a mistake. -Jester
OMG That was absolutely, positively wonderful!
Wheeewtt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehe, god I love your writing!
A wonderful gift, I am sure she will be thrilled. Mostly well written, lemony is the creme of this story. My only problem is odd word usage. On another note, here are some corrections:
"Shadow announced, adjusting his backpack as he and another hedgehog trudged up the gravel path of what Shadow could only describe as an annoyingly isolated cabin."
This indicates that Shadow is discribing the gravel path as a cabin.
"Shadow pointedly ignored him." *Shadow made a point to ignore him.
“And Knuckles is on his rock, watchin’ his other rock. Sucky way to spend Christmas, but I guess I’m glad it’s not me.” Best line ever.
"Sonic didn’t see any problem, at least in the short term, except . . ." 'at least in the short term' is an empty pharse. Delete it.
Love it though, 9/10
Author's Response: See? This is the type of review that makes me giddy. Thank you for pointing out these mistakes for me. I'll admit, there were a few points when I couldn't find the proper word, and my thesaurus wasn't helping. And yeah, I really liked that Knuckles line too. Anyway, thankya muchly for the comments. -Jester
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