Okay, here's tip, my fellow author who I thought had left: NEVER put in an A/N. Ever. Makes it messy. Oh, and you had...one grammar issue and one spelling on. You said 'tale-tale' when it should be 'telltale.' The grammar issue was that you should have a comma after "Sonic" and before "Amy". Any who, glad to know you made Amy an understanding person. Not sure it suites her, but maybe it's just the sonadow fics getting to my head. *shifty eyes* Okay, job, though the crying.... Uh.... Woah, Sonic cries? O_o Thought he only did that in SatAM, the little whiner. XD
you should continue cuz I wanna see if he finds Shadow and what happens so please....continue...I like this fic
MORE PLZ. I hope there's a happy ending
"It would have releived the stress on readers"
Stress? Are you f*king crazy? You just don't know what to complain about.
Oh, and I failed to make this a point, I DO like the story. I am just to force you to construct it better to improve your writing. I am NOT trying to make you stop writing.....
"He laid there on his back, his breathing harsh as he looked at the night sky through the canopy of trees, trying to catch his breath as a single sentence rang through his mind."
"He could see slight fear entering the younger boy’s eyes as he nodded his head and felt guilty for being the cause of it, but if this was the only way to keep the other quiet then so be it."
Run on sentences.... What?! they bother me.
Um, just a little adivce, don't change POVs. Third person restricted is good enough. Although, you may have alreay written the next chapter, so....yeah....
Tails is also much smarter than you made him. You could have had a comic relief when Sonic called Knuckles sleeping beauty. It would have releived the stress on readers and made the chapter more interesting.
Okay. NO! BAD FUYUKI! Tails can't drink, and neither can anyone else! All are underage... (Speaking of which, should there be a "Minors" warning on our stories...? *Wonders....*
Anyway, the idea is good, but let us pretend Shadow had been drinking; the chances of him talking in sleep while intoxicated are usually decreased. (My brother is silent when he sleeps drunk but talks whern he's not.) You also threw "hell" in the begining without really having a need for it. The chapter is good, but could have been better. (Maybe this is just a hobby for you, but at least try; it is how you get better.)
WAHHH! The angst! The continuing angst! I love it. When Tails said, 'If the world depends on you, who can you depend on...?' I nearly broke down sobbing. Any who, great work. I hope you continue. ^^
I like it though personally I'd like more then just one more chappie
o.o MORE PLZ
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