This is awesome, and definitely promising. I hope you continue soon. I'm very curious to see where this is going. Your descriptions are so natural and detailed. Great job so far. :)
Oh, wow.
Is this supposed to be playing on point of views?
It's not really confusing, just very very interesting.
Hope you update soon. x)
A little bit confusing for me, but I think I see what you're trying to do here.... Great chapter, with once again, strong descriptions.
this caught my attention....it's well written....the fight scene has exelent details...plz continue soon
Great chapter. I can see this is going somewhere on a road to awesomeness. The language was fluent and descriptions realistic. Hope ya continue this and SIMS. ^^
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