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Try and make chapter two. X3 And Sonic's rival could be Shadow. XD

Rival, eh? Hm. Sonic's rivals are Metal Sonic, Pseudo Sonic, Silver, Knuckles, Silver Sonic, Scourge, and...everyone else in the world. XD Any who, that story was a bit choppy, but not the worst in the world. You did an okay job.

Author's Response: I know it was a bit choppy but its my first time writing fiction. I'm not what you call gifted in writing but i'll try to get better.

This is perfectly fine. Grammar and writing wise, it is quite good. There is one fatal flaw to your writing though.


LENGTH!!!

When was the last time you read a novel and saw consistent 150 word chapters?

Almost never!

I'm not saying anything is bad about your writing, I enjoyed what you have written very much, but please take a few days or a week to put out a full chapter. 150 words is a drawn out paragraph.

Keep it up, but please step up the length per chapter. Don't just add fluff, write less chapters.

Author's Response: Sowwy about the length. I'll edit this and make it a one-shot