awww what a rapist lol anyways its kind of lemons i dont like it when shadow does those things to him but whatever overall its still a good story.

Argh! My review was cut off! >< Dang it all! Well, Shadow swearing is not the prob, though. TAILS WOULD NEVER SWEAR. EVER.

Keep yer characters in character. Now, I'm sorry, but my brain's too fried to give ya any more critique at the moment. ^^; Just keep it up.

Author's Response: I know but since I made it seem that Tails is really worried I thought about putting him cursing. I'll admit it was a mistake and I wouldn't do it again. I just want to see if someone would say something about Tails cursing is all.

Whoo. Angsty and dark! But it was kinda a turn on. LOL! Hope Sonic will be alright. Update soon please! ^_^

Author's Response: Don't worry. I have a plan to save him but it might take a lot of chapters.

'The table and the sofa was old and wore out. The table was metal and banged up.' It would be nicer if you just packed that up into one nice little sentence. And the 'yes' part. That means Sonic WANTS to feel pleasure. If you say 'no' this CONFIRMS the question. I also notie your making this happen in present time 'licks' 'scares'. Other times you say 'shouted' and 'said'. Choose one or the other, please.

breath-'his breath was shallow' or 'the breath was caught in his throat'

breathe- 'She had to breathe' 'It felt so good to breathe again'

You meant 'breath'. Save for that stuff (and much more I'm not bothering with, because sadly, I am not your beta-reader) this is okay. You can improve. And I don't see why you needed to write this so fast. *blinks* Chapters are typically slow when the author has no time.

Here's my advice from much experience: Build on yer chaps, give them time to grow and develop, like a child. When they are simply thrust into the reader's domain with nothing in their heads, no nutrients, half-starved; a good reviewer feels so horrible, and wants to help the chapter grow and get better. Others simply walk all over it. Either way, the chapter says 'I've been poorly raised and never had time to learn anything.' A fully developed chapter, one that the writer gave their soul into writing, is going to stand proud and basically say 'Look at me! I've been worked on so hard that I SHOW how hard this writer works to make reviewers, him/herself, and me, happy!' See a difference? Remember, a chapter is a miniature story.

Now I know, you may want to ignore my words. (Though I doubt YOU would, Shadow Rockstar. *grins*) Trust me, it's been passed down by human to human. -_- Several people have been like 'Who's this punk? He writes like SHIT. I'll bet he doesn't know ANYTHING about the fundamentals of writing.' Eh. Wrong. I may write like crap (I'll admit, romance has never been my strong point) but treat your chapters like a story (or a child), make them longer, and have more in them. THIS IS YOUR NOVEL. THIS IS YOUR STORY. Don't forget that. That'll help you get longer, more thought-out chapters reeling in. ^^

Jeez, if I keep making these meaningful reviews for EVERY AUTHOR who stumbles (polite way of saying 'is relatively bad and needs improvement') I'll explode. O_O Well, ciao for now. And I can't wait to see what happens next. ^^

Author's Response: Thanks. I had made a longer one yesterday but because of my computer everything I did was gone. Sorry that it was bad and all.

Whoo! I love torture but whoo! Kinda gorey! But I hope you update soon! ^_-

Author's Response: Sorry if it was to gorey for you. I'll make another as soon as I write it.