Okay, why am I...better yet my name mentioned in this???
I don't do reviews Kryu. You know that.
But since you asked me so nicely and even used my story and character as a cameo (which was brilliant by the way. Sounds better written than mine already ^^) I'll give you one.
Paragraphs. If there's one thing that irks me about the majority of the stories on this site, it's paragraphs. Now you're pretty good with keeping them decently separated in general, but you've slipped up in quite a few places. My guidelines for you when proofreading: 1. stick to either a blank line between all paragraphs or leave no lines between them at all, just indent when you're starting. Either way, be consistent. I saw both in this chapter and it annoyed me verily.
2. Always, always, always start a new paragraph when someone is speaking. Even if it's just one line, separate it from the narrative, from the other dialogue. Otherwise it gets jumbled and confused.
I'd think of more stuff to write, but unfortunately, I'm going into shock from actually having written a review. Hope you're satisfied now.
Author's Response: Actually all I wanted is to know that you had read my story and the cameo from your story. Anyway thanks for your support, and Im glad you reviewed me anyway. Thanks a lot
Aw, but you forget: Necros is a reclusive bastard. :P About the story, though.... As soon as "Suga" was said, I thought Bunnie Rabbot was entering with her famous line. O_o Now, my only gripe about this chapter (save for too many "suga"s, but that's only opinion) is that your paragraphing got a little dense and bulky in some areas. I was surprised it was managing to stay afloat on the page. Other than that, nicely played. I like how Eggman made Omega egocentric like himself. That was a laugh. ^^
Author's Response: Gee thanks. Anyway about the whole Rouge. I was trying to make her sound more southern after all that was her image in the anime and game. She had a southern accent
AHHHHH YOU KILLED ME!!!! T^T Why me? Oh well good chapter love it as always(cept for when you killed me)
Author's Response: Sorry but you're name came up when I was writing that part.
I thank you for the cameo. ^^ My suggestion for your story, though, is your paragraphing. It looks a little funny in some areas. Other than that, great job. I like how Shadow's "soul searching". I wonder if this will contain the other teams, Metal, and the funny communicator.... One will only have to see what you do. (Holy--this is my 400th review.... O.o)
Author's Response: Yeah, well It was all for good fun. And I'm honored that my story holds your 400th review. Congrats Also, this wont be your only cameo, you'll have another coming up in another fanfic that I have in the works
'Thru' is preferred to be spelled as 'through'. Mild grammar mistakes (hanged is hung, etc.), but no big ones. *shrugs* All in all, I liked it. Good descriptions, and you didn't go overboard with the lemon scene. Kept it nice and mild, which I like. Can't wait for Sonic Heroes. That's gonna be interesting. ^^
Author's Response: I swear I felt that I did go overboard. Anyway thx a lot Takashi, and by the way you will make a cameo apperance in the next chapter
It's an okay filler, just watch yer grammar. Nice dialogue, but didn't Amy seem a little random? Aw well. She does seem to just pop up from places. Nice job and I can't wait to see the end of the ARK and the beginning of Sonic Heroes. ^^
Author's Response: Well thank you takashi, and the whole thing about AMy was at a moment I felt like writing something random anyway.
lol yur fucking retartded XD. anyways nice story please continue it.
Author's Response: huh?
wow very intense.
Author's Response: thanks
OH MY GOD!!!! I loved the end of this chapter! This is an awesome story and I hope to see more of it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much Nightshade. You really made my day
Sonic and Shadow (c) and TM SEGA - Sonic Team
Sonadow Online
http://www.sonadow.com
2003-2009