For starters, Sonic can't suddenly run fast. It's a physical impossibility for one to start moving at a momentum they haven't gained. Now for writing: you had many grammar issues. One of the more common errors among people is "me and Sonic". The proper term is "Sonic and I". Also, you sure do use said a lot. Try to stay away from using it so many times. Oh, and exclamation marks. I know, they look pretty, but they can be fiends. "Don't say the old lady screamed, let her scream" or something like that is a fantastic quote from Mark Twain. Never be afraid to use actions that do not accompany speech. They will help you. Commas are another issue of yers. You simply ignore them. ' he said choking back his tears'. You hear the pause there? You completely abused it. A comma goes where the pause goes. Remember to use them to show a slight pause in a sentence. 'There were two dogs, each one barking at a flock of pigeons.' And lastly, I didn't quite understand what the who-ha the whole spiritual jibber jabber was all about. I am completely puzzled because you're changed yer genre again. You started with a more realistic fiction feel, now it's become a sci-fi/fantasy/mystery. Try to stick to one or two. It makes it easier for some bumbling fools like me. :P
On a brighter note, paragraphing is a whole lot better now, and you ended it nicely. Hope you continue. ^^

Author's Response: but sonic as a character has always been able to run fast, has he not? or do you mean Shadow? or i forget where i used that >_<'' i know i do that, people are using that term more often and even in the published book i'm reading they use "me and" i dont really notice it cuz thts how i talk >_> i like to scream ^_^ ahaha ppl always tell me i use too many commas :P the whole spirit thing was just for that small part, to explain how he got the injuries and such... erm thx -_-''

wooo,i loved it, will shady live?...more...plzzzzzzzzzzz...;)

The paragraphing is much better, but I notice Sonic says internal bleeding quite a bit in one blurb. Now about the description 'welling', I would suggest something little better. Any who, your medical explanations are leaving me fuzzy. Internal bleeding where on Shadow? And why is it hard to wake up for him? Sounds like he was knocked into a coma. If they were afraid of him dying while asleep, why did he wake up after falling asleep at the end? Speaking of the end, I don't understand. O_o More explanations will help you. An author must remember to describe things to a reader like for the first time, or for people like Takashi who get confuzzled quite easily. Hope you continue, though. ^^

Author's Response: erm thx... chea i know. i thought i read that somewhere before maybe i used it wrong though... idk im really not a medical doctor... i have no idea where he would be bleeding from... my friends dog had it, the only thing i know is that it killed the dog... yea he passed out not fell asleep he can still wake up from normal sleep... i might cont. prob not tho....

it wasn't as bad as you siad it was and the paragraphes were fine.

Author's Response: ^_^ hehe thanks, lol yea you read it after i fixed them :P

Better paragraphing would greatly improve this. I can't read most of the story due to paragraphing. ;;; And about plots...I'm terribly sorry, but only you can come up with plots--unless you're Rping with someone. For a paragraph here, don't just skip one line skip two for better reading enjoyment. Here's an example:

See? Wasn't that a great example? XD I hope you post more, though. It's not good when stories go unfinished. Keep it up, and use more selective descriptions, please. 'Good', 'nice' and such don't work that well, in other words they don't flow. Synonyms work fine though, as you know. ^^

Author's Response: i tried to fix the paragraphs... idk if its right tho... lol thx for the help ^_^! yea i try to use other words but i just end up forgetting =/