Interesting. I liked this one and I'm afraid I have no suggestions for you save for looking for tiny grammar mistakes here and there.
What really strikes me is how you talk about his guilt of betraying Violet. Really touches something that most authors don't. (I've seen some stories where Sonic simply dumps [insert name here] and feels no remorse whatsoever as he gets it on with Shads. Ugh.) Any who, still like the originality of the plot. Keep up the good work. ^^
Author's Response: Aweh *Blushes* Thank you so much! I really, really appreciate that, I feel like I am growing up a bit in my literary technique! ~Yoshi
*speechless*...great work, keep it up, looking forward to read more of your delicious story!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I hope you like the new chapter. (It took so long due to writer's block. Depressed. In hindsight, it might be random...) O.o
Aw, I understand perfectly, actually. I spotted but one spelling error in this very interesting chapter: "The wind grew peacefully." I think you meant "blew". There were a few scarcely noticeable grammatical mistakes, as well. Save for that, fantastic work! ^^
Author's Response: Oh, thanks for reviewing, again. I am so happy you understood it. (I am all but certain that most people will stop reading at this chapter, but I don't mind. It is my vision, non?) Thanks again!
This is good but you had a few wording errors "here" was one of which I thought you were trying to say "her" but other than that great story.
Author's Response: Oh, thanks. That makes me feel special. *Smile*
*Blink blink.*Woah....now I'm confused.....what's going on?
Author's Response: Just have to wait and see *carries note here.* *smiles!*
Took ya that long to do...ten lines of dialogue? O_o If it was for effect, as you say, I won't complain, but woah, that is short.
Author's Response: I know, but I am trying to give it the novel feel that I am working towards. Remember, the shortest chapter ever is easily recited: "My mother is a fish." from As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner.
Woah. I hope you explain this. Any who, for a split second, I actually thought Shads was a god. XD You had one or two grammar issues, but save for that, I love this. ^^
Author's Response: (THIS IS LIKE CLIFF NOTES!! READ AT RISK OF RUINING THE CHAPTER IN QUESTION!) Well, that is what I want you to feel/think. In Sonic's perspective, he sees Shadow as a God, a spirit of the wind type figure. I wanted to give that feeling in the story without being explicit in saying, "This fur is god." However, this would not work for many reasons. (I attempted to make it seem that he was a god while maintaining it as questionable.) Thanks for the review as always! ~Yoshi. (My new signature on responses because this system says "Author's response" without putting my pen name.*
You should check yer grammar a little more, but the story telling was okay. Don't use parentheses in such flow, though. I like this chapter, despite that. The talk of the "wind" near the end was well done. ^^
Author's Response: *Ashamed* I apologize, I must have neglected checking it over. I should take an extra day for grammar, I suppose. Thank you so much for continuing to read. And even more so, thanks for the review. It is very pleasant to receive advice. (And a little praise.) Also, I eliminated the parentheses. *Is severely embarrassed to have posted slipshod work.* Again, thank you, Takashi.
Oh...wow.....I love your way of writing.....it's something I haven't seen in a long time and I definatly hope to see more of it.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much. *smile*
Plenty of errors. However, this is a perspective I simply can't do. (I've tried. It failed, period.)
This is actually not too bad. You are doing some tribal thing, which isn't distinguished too much except for the blunt animism belief of the main character. And, he met Shadow without meeting him. It is...decent. Not a bad first story. My only question, is this your first story ever or first Sonadow story?
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, and I do have a request. Could you tell me some of the common errors so I could fix the? Oh and to answer your question, I have written several stories before, but I just didn't like them. This is my first published story. So, *crosses fingers* I hope all goes well!
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