Fantastic summary, for starters. Really pulls you in, which is good. And, since you say "constructive criticism is love", I'll give you some love and joy: I spotted only two errors this nice piece--"his" should be "he's" and you used it twice. And at the end, you switched to only second person and left your first person out in the cold. Sort of confusing in a way for some people, but if you like that type of style, I suppose I can't stop ya. ^^
Save for those two things, this is an amazing idea. Keep up the great work. Oh, and good luck with your muse. Mine already burned the cardboard box that he arrived in, then brought a friend, unfortunately.

Author's Response: *Glomps Takashi the hedgehog* You my dear are the author of one of my favourite stories! *Cough* err, yes any way back on topic. The moment I have the chance I’ll be going back through and fixing up that whole ‘his’ and ‘he’s’ mess, and thankyou for pointing it out. Unfortunately I become quite blind to the errors in my document after rereading the second time, so having someone point them out to me is always wonderful, since I try and look out for any similar mistakes in anything else I write. For the change in P.O.V I had worried my story wouldn’t flow quite the way I intended. Basically it’s meant to be Sonic talking to the bartend with the Bartends words/replies left ‘out’ of the conversation so the reader can imagine any response they want. Hmm, obviously this didn’t come through and I am going to have to try and rethink my way of writing. Although unfortunately I can’t guarantee a less confusing P.O.V change... unless my muse actually decides to be helpful.