more pls it very good :)

Hey

i haven't gotten into it becuase there is not enough for me to get into. so write a little more and i'll be loving it

maybe you could put a lttle explanation about mirror in there somewhere. something like that would be great. maybe alos more about sonic's past life

bye for now not forever

Chapter 1
Unclear, very superficial, overall, interesting, but too general. I have a vague idea of what is going on, but so far, I haven't really understood ANYTHING you are trying to relate to me. I am not even sure how this is supposed to be read with the misspellings, odd cut offs, and overall lack of detail or description. I feel like I am reading notes that you had to have read the story to understand rather than reading an actual story. Really bad 3/10.
Chapter 2
Okay, wtfs a mirror? Also, you don't explain anything I read this twice, as though a second read might make everything pop into place. Sorry but, it didn't. It actually made me realize that you just don't care about the kind of crap you unleash onto the site. As for Takashi, he(again, she? You really need to tell someone so we know...) is really the least likely person to "flame" you. I am a thousand times harsher simply because I don't like garbage. (Even if I have some, I will at least have the decency to put a label on it going, "This is garbage.") Now, on topic with the story.
YOU CANNOT INTERRUPT DIALOG WITH VAGUE REFERENCES TO CHARACTER UNLESS IT IS RELATED OR HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME. AND, IF YOU DO THIS CORRECTLY, YOU SHOULD GIVE A GOOD ENOUGH DESCRIPTION SO THAT I KNOW WTF YOU'RE DOING! Is it too hard to ask for you to explain wth your characters are!?!? Could you describe him, or do we magically assume it is a talking mirror? And what in God's name is a dark? To stop myself from continuing this rant-as doing so would cause my head to explode in sheer frustration-, could you stay in one tense!!!!!!

Author's Response: I'm oddly not shocked by your review. this is merely a little test run i'm doing, so it won't be the best. I didn't want people coming here saying "It's so horrible!" Or something along though lines. But you didn't do that so your not really flaming me at the moment.

People don't flame on this site, most times. And if you ever felt I was a flamer, I apologize. I only try to help others. Any who, HTMLs? < i > for italics (without spaces) and in order to get rid of them, put down < / i > (without spaces). See? Same goes with bold words, only with a "b". Oh, and underlined words, I think. (But with a "u".) ^^

Now, about your healthy dose of constructive criticism.... More explanations, please. I have no idea what a "Dark" is, nor do I know what a chao has to do with the plot (or Mirror, for that matter). Remember that what you write is for the audience. I dunno if I missed a subtext, but it's all very confusing. Perhaps you will explain eventually and were planning for puzzlement. If so, ignore what I have said. My only other suggestion is your paragraphing/formatting could use some cleaning up. Save for that, nice job. ^^ Your length has improved immensely. Spelling's better, too. Keep up the good work.

i see nothing wrong with this a bit short but not bad, also it say's that the story is finished you might wanna change that