:)

'He fur show the crimson in brilliant contrast, but it was a minor wound.' I think you meant either 'His fur showed the crimson in brilliant contrast, but it was a minor wound.' or 'The fur showed the crimson in brilliant contrast, but it was a minor wound.' Any who, technicalities aside, this is a very well written piece, even with your standards, I believe. Your repetition brings a sort of emotion to the fiction and how you altered it at the end was interesting.

One thing that brings joy to me is how much story you put in, in contrast to the song lyrics. Most song fictions fail to bring out the story and end up a jumbled heap of lyrics on a page with the occasional burst of prose. This is different from the norm and that's a very good thing in my opinion. Keep up the awesome work. ^^