lol not a bad sex scene!! Everybody get's better with practice anyways~ lol look at me~~ I suck at those types of scenes! (read Diff to fing out) lol
Author's Response: I've already read Diff... I thought your sex scene was pretty damn good! I'm also hooked on The Lost Heart (I think thats one of yours... ^^;) I LOVE THAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!
alright, it still could be better written and more explination. or maybe i'm just confused like that? XDD
also...it seems like you randomly throw explination marks in there...That screws with my mental image of the story :p
all in all, I like it and I like where it seems to be going :]
Author's Response: Ye, I actually confused myself whilst (is that even a word?) writing this... hehe ^^; Hope I didn't scramble your brain too much!!! As for the exlamation marks... I'm a nutjob and... NUTJOBS! LOVE! EXCLAMATION! MARKS! ... just like that
I like the story still :)
OOC still?....ah well, if it's helping the story (which I think it is...) The it's fine by me, I just gonna get use to it. also, double check grammar and all that jazz.
keep it up, I'm looking forward to the next chappie.
Author's Response: thankies! ^^
I "sucked" too, once. Now I'm (sort of) decent, and you can be too with some work. ...With work. Now, plot holes and other things that you will hate me for now and not later: First off, why the hell is there this ominous castle in the Sonic verse? And why in the world would Shadow need pictures of it for his boss? Who the hell is Trenz? Why did Shadow need to know if Sonic was okay? Did anything happen as he walked through the dangerous rooms? Why can't you paragraph? Did you know that "imune" is spelled "immune"? Am I being annoying? Thought so. :P I'm a jerk ass. Just to make you hate me more, plot hole: "I saw you jump off the roof last night." It wasn't last night! You said Shadow walked back to get his camera. Tell me, am I reading Encyclopedia Brown? *smacked*
On the other hand, I like age differences. Call me perverted, but I like pedophile sonadow. (It's technically not pedophile because Shadow is seventeen, but I still like age gaps.) You're appealing to us pervs, which is good on this site. And, the plot is cool. Were-vampire. Interesting.
You're not as bad as you think. Keep up the nice work.
Author's Response: Yeah, I'm dyslexic, and it was actually go'n to be "last night" but I changed it and left that part in accidentilly! sorrry, will correct it! Shadow is working as a photographer, and the castle came out of my dodgy dreams, I know I'm weird... don't feel the need to tell me, and I don't hate you for telling me the truth, it's actually made me like you! ^.^ Thanks for reveiwing!
'sence' meaning....sense?
watch your spelling, yo. um....did you want Shadow and Sonic to be out of character?
Good story, I was a bit confused when you started switching between Shadow and Sonic.
you should work on breaking paragraphs a bit better, I got a lil' thrown there.
ANYWAY, you don't 'suck' at writing, all ya need is a lil' work and you're actually a good writer. Work on spelling, para breaks and description AND staying in character (if not your intention, then alright).
I like that Sonic's got this other side that's like were-vampire stats. Also the age difference, I don't know why but I like age gaps for Sonadow's.
mmm....that's all, I look forward to ur next chappie and this was also a good chapter. :o
Author's Response: I'm dyslexic... don't judge me! And yes, they were supposed to be out of character. Thanks for reviewing! ^.^
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