Hi! Funny… yesterday I was thinking: “Wonder when Takashi will update UnBound?” (starting the computer) “HURRAY! Everybody love Takashi!” I didn’t have the time to read it at that moment, but there is always tomorrow/today! ^ ^
First I did notice a small thing, maybe nothing, but in the second line of the story, Shadow tells Sonic: “warp our minds from the clean slate…” Did you mean “slate” or was it meant to be “state” ^ ^
I also noticed that werewolf Sonic’s mind is catching up… a little. He doesn’t seem that “primitive” anymore which makes it easier to follow the story (I know… I’m lazy ^ ^’)
Btw. How much of the games storyline do you know about… really? O.o
Do I have to say I love you updated? ^ ^ Until next time…
PS. Thanks for the description of Chip. The image made me laugh for 10 minutes and almost die of suffocation XD
Author's Response: It was meant to be slate in a figurative sense. Like a blank stone that is our mind. As for the less primitive Sonic, I'm trying to show how Sonic's regaining control and struggling to triumph the wolf. How much of the plot I know? Quite a lot. I know who Chip really is, I've seen almost all the cutscenes, etc. You know, for research. And, honestly, I really find Chip to be comedic relief until the end of the game. XD Thanks for reviewing. You have no idea how happy I am! (No, really. I mean it. O_o) ^^
It's certainly a lot more understandable than the first chapter, so great job!
And I'm glad SEGA didn't make WereSonic as primitive in the game, though, since that would be rather lame, when he can't recall his actions in that form.:)
And this professor, will he still be called Pickle in your fic? It's a funny name. :)
Author's Response: He? Who said he was a he? *laughs* And no, no Pickle. That's lame. :P A man named Pickle who likes Pickles? I honestly don't like that concept, so the Professor will be a mobian OC. Any who, it's good to know I've managed to improve and thank you for pointing out the issues. *nods* And, thanks for the review! ^^
I'm always interested in what you write. However, this story confused me greatly as I couldn't grasp what was going on. You seemed to have jumped in may different directions to various things with the charaters. In all though, it has a continuous flow.
Author's Response: It was purposely jumpy, so as to make the reader blink a few times. Hell, I blinked a few times myself. It's because I doubt Sonic pays attention to anything. I have a theory on how his mind works and I'm putting it to a rough test. I'll try to make things more orderly, I really will. It's just that sometimes that ruins the continuous flow, you know? Thanks for the review. I'll try to improve my work as best I can. ^^
Sorry, i don't know what happened to my other review. Here's the part that disappeared: The story is as usual extremely interesting and i would love to read more, probably mainly because i don't get the plot yet. But that's your plan in a nutshell, right? And that's great! It's boring with stories you understand immediately. "If you're sure you understood it all, you didn't understand a thing" - Walter Mondale. And that is how i describe your stories ^ ^. So please continue. Till next time then ^ ^. (I'm Sorry if i spelled something wrong ^ ^')
Author's Response: I've always tried to imply my audience knew nothing so they could know very little and not be confused because they know they're supposed to know little. Woo. Tongue twister right there, huh? An important and hard factor I strongly believe in, though. Glad to know you think my story's fresh. And the quote is a wonderful one. Thanks for the review. ^^
Hey! A new story (Big Smile :D) Now, question: Who and WHAT is Chip? (Holy ****! He have wings?! O.o) And i must say i agree with you. Why did they give werewolf Sonic such ugly arms >
Author's Response: No one really knows what Chip is, or who. He's a flying dog who's obsessed with chocolate and ice cream. Sort of like an omochao replacement. He gets amnesia after Sonic lands on him in the game, supposedly. (And he has this 'dark secret.' Won't have that in my version. Too lame.) My opinion? He's a chihuahua with pixie wings. XD
Excuse me for saying this, but even though the werewolf version of Sonic has indeed more primitive thoughts, the first chapter as a whole seems rather chaotic. Might be because the game isn't out and I don't know this Chip character enough. :S
Author's Response: The layout was purposely chaotic, if that's what you meant. It's a limited third person point of view from Sonic. I judge his mind does not function like a normal person's and thus I settled on a messy layout and fast storyline. As for Chip, no one knows him, really. Just that he likes chocolate and is a dog. I did research before I wrote. There's not much. :/ Thanks for the review and the critique. I'll try to see if I can make my writing more readable for the audience. ^^ When my next chap's out, tell me if I improved, 'kay? Thanks.
Wow.
This is THE perfect prologue. It actually feels like a movie!
A very clever choice of format; it'll keep Sonic's hectic, unorganized thoughts from getting cut off. This just makes it nice and clear... though, Sonic's thoughts ARE a little hard to read, I admit, but whatever. I love how Sonic can't speak and how his thoughts are primitive and jumbled when he's a werewolf anyway, makes more sense.
Oh, and Sonic and Shadow's little past conversation just adds the icing to the cake. It ties right into the idea of this story, how Sonic has a hidden personality inside him, albeit an crazy one. I wonder when Shadow will come and meet this "dormant personality"...
A brilliant idea--I hope to see the next chapter soon! :D
Author's Response: Good to know you approve of my format. Yes, Sonic's mind is hectic and I think it'd be rather unorganized and skip things like a broken record, don't you? As for Shadow's entrance, that's next chapter. I hope. You know how it is with events. Sometimes they get bumped a chapter or two for the sake of the story. Thank you for the review and especially the comments on format. They make me smile. :3
....I love you
No, seriously, I'm so thrilled that you wrote this. And I agree with you, Sonic's arms are awful. Wolf-like is better
Author's Response: You're thrilled? I'm thrilled that you're thrilled! Positive input give me positive output, as in...faster chapter writing for some reason. O.o Any who, I see that you agree with me on the design flaw. But Chip's awesome. No denying it. He'll be better than Omochao. *shudders* Thanks for reviewing, though~! ^^
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