How did you come up with this while eating pizza?I only come up with stories while i'm at the fridge...
'' You suddenly said that when you were sleeping. I thought you were
talking about maria, until you said ' oh sonic, faster! please, harder..
im begging you!! ' . . . .and that's where you started to pant randomly
and said ' oh sonic, your so fluffy. You are like my Pink, Bubble gum,
fluffy teddy bear '......which made me cringe a little, but fascinated ''.
Shadow: 0_o;;
That part made me laugh! I didn't expect a face to be used. Ok over all, the story isn't that great. But I always look at comedy. I didn't know who was who half of the time. Use nouns/proper nouns when need be and use pronouns when need be. Funny in parts though!
Crack fic, eh? Well, I'll still fire some CC because, you know what, I like your attitude.
Use of pronouns such as "he" becomes distracting to the reader. So don't needless descriptions such as "yell" and various others. Your dialogue was quick and more than to the point--confusing without the need to be. Such swift conversation changes make normal people (which means that category excludes me) and their heads turn. First annoyance, then sleeping, then fluffy pinkness, then on the roof, then in love... Woah. You just summarized a six chapter long story in one page. O.o Wish I could do that. (Seriously! D:)
But still, I like your attitude, and I believe if you fixed the glaring grammar errors and what I said above, this would be a nice little crack fic for us all to laugh at. :3 I found it very enlightening, actually, as a parody of sorts. XD But, anyways, I know a good writer when I see one, generally, and I can't wait to see what you'll dish out next.
Author's Response: XDD; I didn't really intend it to be a chapter or some sort, just a quickie, if you can call that :3 Thank you so much for the CC, really appreciate it X3 and glad you found the fic enjoyable XD happy to know you like my attitude there |3 i dont get that alot DD:
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